My Dirty Slap Story

Oh, how I received a Dirty Slap! 😤🤕🤧

We were returning home from school, my friends, my younger sister and I. I was in JSS 3 at the time. On our way we encountered this street kid whose name was Akin, he was such a bully. One thing led to the other and there was a clash, a serious one, it led to a little fight between him and one of my female friends with whom we were moving together. Elders in the vicinity came to the scene, settled the dispute and instructed us to go our separate ways. We separated, my friends and I continued our journey home.

About two minutes after, we saw the same guy we left behind coming before us. After we were separated by elders, he actually took another route to double-cross us. This time around, I was becoming infuriated myself. What effrontery? I mean, what nonsense was this Akin of a person performing? And this was the petite me, very small body stature, but my anger was making me feel myself. That thing called anger ehn? It can make a chick dare a dog, if you know what I’m talking about.

So I took this matter personal, and I confronted Akin. “What exactly is your problem?” I can vividly remember saying that to him in the Yoruba language. “Why on earth would you double-cross us, after the dispute has been settled?” Right now, I’m not so sure if I actually completed that statement before I had hot slap landing on my right cheek. My heart went blank, my eyes dimmed, I was literally seeing stars. Before I could realise, kids in the neighbourhood had surrounded us to witness the scene. None of them dared to defend us, Akin has been the street bully. They all knew him. But we were encountering him for the first time.

I was angry, but I couldn’t raise a hand. He would definitely beat the hell out of me if I do, I wasn’t his size. In Yoruba language, he dared me to talk again. You know that “Ti won ba bi e da” slang, which literally means, if they born you well. Multiple thoughts ran through my mind, but no, “won bi mi da”. Yes, I was well birthed. That was what I told myself. I look at the boy from head to toe and I changed the gear, I changed the playing field, I manipulated the fight to my favour. I stopped speaking to him in Yoruba, I turned it all into polished English.

He’s fully local breed, I’m local too, but when it comes to language, English was my first language on earth, the knowledge of other languages I speak today was built on English. So then I started telling him, how that muscles don’t equal strength but intellect, I used the then ‘big-grammars’ I knew, called him a scallywag and a nincompoop, as soon as I used this words, all the kids who surrounded us started adding sound effects. You know, those annoying sound effects that make insults sound more hurtful.

The fight was no longer an exchange of fist, it was now an exchange of words, but in English Language, I dare not try such with him in Yoruba. Akin could not reply me fluently in English, he was just saying stupid, idiots and all those nursery class insults. When I was done with him, I did a final finishing by advising him to stop being a jejune. This was the statement that broke Akin into tears, real tears flowing down his cheeks, he was really hurt by the fact that someone humiliated him in the presence of the kids he had always bullied.

But now, when I look back I feel quite sorry myself, because growth has afforded me the opportunity to know that I was merely a privileged child, and I shouldn’t have said as much as I said that day. The average African child faces the same struggles like Akin, he simply was a product of his background. Maybe he could even hardly get something to eat before school daily, maybe he didn’t have responsible parenting like I had, I shouldn’t have shamed him for his background. But nonetheless, I have a number of others lessons to share from my experience.

1. Don’t let anyone shame you for what you don’t have, there’s a unique wonder in you.

2. When people look bitter, don’t always assume they have a problem with you. Sometimes, the bitterness is simply a result of the person’s anger towards his own self. You’re just the medium, you are not the real issue.

3. Self-esteem issues are serious issues. Akin’s issue wasn’t stubbornness, he actually had a low self-esteem and only used bullying to cover it up. Some of the wicked authorities you know of are the most insecure persons.

4. In all your doings, don’t tolerate anything that tampers with your esteem. It is one of the reasons you must personally regulate your own social media space. Always see yourself in the light that God sees you. This mind-set is most useful in your down moments. Suicide is a result of making men mirrors, instead of God’s word.

5. When the life opposition seems undefeatable, look for opportunities to manipulate the playing field to your favour. That might be your breaking point.  

6. When God finally bring things to your favour, don’t overdo. Don’t be dominated by hurts or the appraisal of men, it will blind you like it blinded me. It might make you inhumane like it made me.

7. The blows created by the words of mouth are sometimes stronger and more impactful than those of the fist. No matter how serious the matter is, weigh your words before you speak them. Word can hurt a fellow more than you intentioned.

What other lesson can you draw from my story, please share with me in the comment section.

Thanks for reading!
Oluwadurotimi Okediji.