A 'No' is as beautiful as a 'Yes'

When a group of kids ask a child for ball and the response is 'no', you hear others say... "We will not play with you again".
Many of us had scientific calculators in secondary school that got spoilt in just a week of purchase because we weren't bold enough to tell our careless mates 'No'. Many of my mathematical sets suffered this. I lost count of the number I bought, none lasted a term.

Our parents taught us really well, and we won't be who we are today without their input. However there a few more things we might need to tell our kids, so as to provide them a more balanced approach to life.

We were morally taught as young children that 'I'm sorry', 'please' and 'thank you' are golden words. We were taught that it matters how we make others feel in our interaction and responses. This is good and true.

But we weren't taught that saying 'no' is not lesser than saying 'yes'. We were made to think that saying yes is the way to make people feel good. But really, how and why should I be held responsible for your feeling above mine? Should I say 'yes' when it is practically impossible for me? This is an important balance.

You can ask me for a favour, for money, for a referral which I know I'm not in the best mental, relational, physical or financial capacity to give. Do I die for you to live? The best I can do is to present my 'no' in a considerate manner. And that's even because I'm putting myself in your shoes. In cases like this, a 'NO' is the best 'yes' you can give.

We weren't taught about the best attitude towards a rejection either.

Which one is "Go and die with your money, I would also be rich one day"?
'Haba na' Kunmi, when did I say you won't be rich? I only told you that I'm sorting some things and I don't have the money you asked for at the moment.

I declined your invite to speak at a meeting you organised, and you started telling people that I'm too proud. But Kunmi, why?

Why are we happy when we get 'yes' but sad when we hear 'no'?
The same applies to our walk and interaction with God. In actual sense, 'yes' is not better than 'no'. Life is a mix of good and bad, our attitude towards life realities is what brings out the winner in us.

There is a right attitude to 'NO' as much as there is to 'Yes'. There is an attitude that helps you convert 'No' to 'Yes, Yes, Yes and Yes'. 😅

Stop shading the firms that rejected you, they only wanted you to be better. Go back and refine yourself yet again.
Stop cursing the man that didn't give you the money you asked, he is only teaching you that money was originally meant to be earned.
Stop 'bad-mouthing' the people that refused your favour, what you asked might truly not be in their capacity.

So in conclusion, as much as you plan to equip your kids with the golden words 'sorry', 'please' and 'thank you', let them know that 'Yes' is much a good response as 'No'.

When you see a child nursing hurts because a fellow refused him or her biscuits or something trivial, it's just the young version of the examples I cited earlier.

Please let me know what portion of this write-up you consider most valuable. I await your response in the comment section below.

Thanks for reading through!
Oluwadurotimi Okediji.