An Official Superior Called Me STUPID! My reaction… 🤕

Around this time last year, I was brought on the board of an official assignment, it was the National School Feeding Programme for elementary schools that is ongoing in the current Nigerian government administration. I was enrolled as an enumeration officer because of my technological inclination, my main task was to visit the government elementary schools assigned to me, inspect and then get their database uploaded on the national server.

I was directly accountable to a superior whose position I would love to not mention, and I was doing my job quite all right. Those who know me on a personal note know that when I’m committed to an assignment given to me, I’m wholly given to it. I would always ensure to do as expected if not surpass expectation in many cases.

So I had some of the schools assigned to me visited, and their database properly uploaded. Those who have been following me online consistently would remember when I shared about my lost bags, the ones that got missing during one of my travels last year. The documents for two different government schools were actually in that missing bag, including many other valuables.

I tried all best to retrieve the bags but to no avail. Then I had to accept my misdoings and move on at least. I didn’t bother about the documents, because I had uploaded the essentials already. So I felt if at all it was needed, it can be tracked on the national server and simply reprinted. So weeks passed by.

Then all of a sudden, a memo was passed that we should start submitting the hardcopy documents. That was a dramatic “gan-an gan-an” moment for me. I became restless, my bags had been missing for more than a month, without a hope of its return. Where do I find these files? We weren’t told from inception that it was to be submitted. This is a federal government project I’m talking about here, and quiet me doesn’t like dramas. Drama? I run from it as much as I can. But this time, I am the main cast.

Well, the deed is done. All that is left is to report myself, which I surmounted courage to do. I reached out to my first superior, who is accountable to my head superior. He sympathised with me because he knew me on a personal note, and he knows that I’m not such a careless person, and that what happened just had to happen. He reported to my head superior who was a lady. The woman instructed him to ask me to call her.
I picked my phone that evening, to put a call through to her.

“Hello Ma, Good evening!” I started the call.

“Hello, yes please?” She replied.

“Yes ma, I’m Oluwadurotimi one of the national school feeding programme enumeration officers under you ma” I continued.

“Okay, speak on” She said.

“I am the one who has the school documents lost ma, I informed Mr (SO SO), and he told me that you asked me to call you ma” I said with so much remorse.

“You are very stupid!” She said … My ears couldn’t believe what it was hearing.

“Yes, you must be very stupid!” She repeated the statement, this time emphatically.

I can’t remember the last time I heard someone extended such a derogatory word to me, maybe twelve years ago. Something tempted me to talk, but no, I won’t. I was telling myself “Oluwadurotimi, you have the Holy Spirit, you have the Holy Ghost living inside you. Keep your mouth shut and let her express her anger.”

So I was quiet, she did the name callings, and ranted and even threatened me. Then she hung the call that I actually made. I mean she said those words to me using my own airtime, and hung up when she pleased herself.

In my heart of heart, I have no offense against her. No malice, cos I can’t deal with unforgiveness, that’s too much load for my heart. If I see her tomorrow I would greet her. It isn’t her fault, “Na me fuckup”.

But in my heart of heart, that was the moment I lost every form of reverence and respect that I have for her person and her office. I no longer saw her a worthy leader, the influence she had over me got drained that same minute. Why on earth should a superior start calling people names? That's bullying!

In the long run, I was actually vindicated. Why? Other superiors, I mean the woman’s superiors confirmed, that I had uploaded the documents and that there’s nothing to worry about. People like this woman are many in private sectors and in the civil service, positional leaders who think leadership is all about position.

Being given a position of authority actually takes away the right to abuse others from you. Even if the subordinate acts inappropriately, there are official measures to enact discipline, not name calling. The true measure of leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. Character is vital for building a positive influence. Respect they say is reciprocal.

In addition, I also learnt from that experience that, what people say to you doesn’t describe you, it actually describes them. For her to speak such a derogatory word to her subordinate, it reveals her true character as a leader. I don’t need to respond like her, someone needs to be mature at least. And if I had actually responded negatively, the story could have probably turned against me in the long run.

And one other lesson I picked is that, quietness and gentleness is not foolishness. It actually is wisdom in disguise.

What other lesson can you pick from my story? Please share in the comment section below. I want to learn more.

Oluwadurotimi Okediji.